Henlo I'm Hamachi,
a professional doggo.
I help hoomans to feel happi 'n relaxed.
and annoyed sometimes :)
Henlo I'm Hamachi,
I just don' make hoomans happi.
I make them heckin' happi.
as long as hoomans get me goob food and toytoys.
1
Feed me
I need sum energy to make you happy,
chimkin is my fav.
2
Play wit me
You gotta gib in order to get right?
Let's start with fetch.
3
Ur Happi!
Woof! Ur already happi playing with me!
OMG, he is so energetic and happy dog!
Random hooman on the street
I'm da main character here.
lemme show ya what my typical day look like
8:00 AM
My first task of da day would be wakin' up my hoomans by awooin', scratchin' and borkin'.
8:10 AM
Then Imma have to take my lazy hooman to mornin walk. Dis hooman is becoming fat boi so ive gotta keep him in shape.
8:20 AM
Also I get to see my fren and see how they an their hoomans are doin when im walkin, so its not a bad way of stating a day, righttt!
8:45 AM
Alrighty im back and time for breakfost. I feed my hooman cofeee and a piece of bread and finally I get to eat. Gotta eat well to work well. Yum.
9:00 AM
I put my hooman at the desk, hes gotta wark an get moneyy to buy food, meanwhile imma take a nap cuz my job is tiring, you know?
10:00 AM
Sun bath. Luv it.
10:30 AM
Protecting the neighborhood is part of my job.
12:00 PM
Okay, lunch break. Take my hooman out for refreshing. Imma do sum exercise too, im da fastest heck boi!
1:00 PM
I'm a bit tired today, lemme take a nap.
1:30 PM
a lil bit more.
2:30 PM
Playin with my hooman for his stupid mental health, hoomans need some mental stimulation to keep them calm, you know?
3:00 PM
Nap. Yes, again my job is hard.
4:30 PM
More nap.
5:00 PM
Hooman finishes up his work and imma take him to evening walk. Geez why you walk so sloo.
5:30 PM
Meet my gang. Oh apparently im da leader of da pack. is it even a question?
6:30 PM
Ok, dinnner time. mmm what da heck u doin to my foodo. Much concern.
7:00 PM
I'm ful. Gotta nap.
8:00 PM
Watch TV with my hooman cuz he loves watching some stupid show with me. I don get it.
9:00 PM
Some more nap.
11:00 PM
Alrighty, take my hooman out for the last time and we call it a day. Night hooman.
I'm a pro doggo.
Trust me, I'm heckin' goob at my job.
OCD (Ontario Certified Doggo)
Hamachi holds a master degree in obedience training from UofD (University of Doggo). After his master, Hamachi enrolled BANANA (Barking At Night for Absolutely Nothing Association) and received OCD (Ontario Certified Doggo) licence.
Hamachi is now working as a profesional doggo at a stupid hooman home and taking care of his stupid hooman's well being.
Care for your stupid mental health
I'll take care of your mental health, this includes services like:
- Daily walks (Unlimited, exception for super cold winter)
- Daily cuddles (Up to 5 times / day)
- Daily petting (Unlimited)
- and more
Care for your stupid physical health
I'll take care of your physical health, this includes services like:
- Daily walks (Unlimited, exception for super cold winter)
- Daily tug of war (Up until I get tired)
- and more
All hoomans love me
and theres reasons.
Well, there's millions of doggos out there, then why me?
Cute pics
I mean, I'm cute so OBVS your pics would be superb wiz me in it.
Fun times
Oh boi, I'm so playful you won't get bored for sure.
New fren
For sure, you'll make lots of new fren thru me.
Here's what they have to say.
I think it's safe to say they lov me very muchh.
Hamachi is my best fren, we play so goob.
Lov u bud.
Lov u bud.
Hamachi come! Ohhhhhhh Good boiiiiiiiii
Hi Hamachiiii ohhhh your so cuteee!
Pay what you can.
That's what my hooman told me to say cuz it sounds nice & genuine, but i want chimkin tbh.
Ok plan
the plan i feel ok bout it.
3 bowls of kibbles / day
What's include:
Pretty much everything I offer
I probably won't be that obedient
My fav plan
My favorite plan! You hoomans should select dis plan cuz i love chimkin, i mean it's good for u!
3 bowls of chimkins / day & bananas for dessert
What's include:
Absolutely everything & anything what I can offer
I will help you with all my power like there's no tomorrow
Wanna have a chat?
Sure, just cuz I'm a nice.
Ooooops! Somethin is wrong with dis, make sure you put correct info?
